Let the juice flow

I have decided to become a follower
of Dr. Juice.

I did flirt with a few other cults
but this one seemed a bit easier on the hours.
I can’t be doing with any kind of serious face time
down at some centre in a strange part of town.

I could of course cheat, tie a red piece of wool
round my wrist and change my name to Martha
that’s what all the hip kids are doing.
I’m not sure what I’d get out of it though
much like the empty Beck CD case
that I inadvertently keep trying to play
and keep putting back on the shelf.

Dr Juice has just congratulated me on being a pioneer.
I like that. That’s nice of him.
He’s all about loving life, the universe and everything,
but mostly it seems to be about loving kale juice.
He seems to be a bit of a fruitcake if truth be told
but I like that too. He also has amazing skin,
which, truth telling continued, is the real reason
I’m in on this thing.

so Day 3
no spiritual enlightenment
but damn my skin looks good

action juice shot

The only constant is who I am and where I am from

Thank God I am a Geordie.

Hadrian’s Wall – “The Line of Light”

Thank you to the people of the North for being daft enough to make a line
84 miles wide and light a line of beacons all in the name of history.

We are proper ancient and that up here.

Carrie Bradshaw: A face you can slap.

If you are an “aspiring female writer”
and you have cited Carrie Bradshaw as
an inspiration or a role model,

wake up.

You are selling yourself short.

She is whiny and weak, and a pain in the arse.

Are you really in awe of the fact that she can talk about
vibrators and shoes all in the same breath? Is it her
ability to obsess about dead end, never going to work,
relationships with men who treat her like the silly little
girl that she is? Maybe you identify with her feeble traits
but “ooh she’s so fashionable, she must be cool”, and in some
way that makes it okay that you are feeble too?

He hasn't called for 3 weeks. Do you think I should fly to see him?

Yes please

I have officially denounced the number 8

The 8kb bug.
Thank you.
Hours of wasted time.
Uninstalls. Reinstalls.
Event logs.
Head scratching.
Head banging.
Fuck you you useless number.
Fuck you Adobe for repeatedly crashing
JUST BECAUSE
a file becomes 8kb, or a multiple of,
and THAT being enough to completely FUCK YOUR SOFTWARE!!!!!

And YOU… number 8…
CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF!!!!

I would NEVER get naked purely to entice readers!

This post is purely to demonstrate how much I love my Vespa,
and NOT a cheap shot response Leroy Scandal’s slutty post.

Deep throat for chicks…

… although this old bird is clearly an expert, Dr. Slutty Poppins advises that less experienced chicks take it a bit slower until they get to the greedy gobbling stage, as demonstrated here.  As a Doctor, I always like to see a good healthy appetite in my patients and I strongly recommend they keep their daily intake of nutrients on the up.

Against my better judgement…

Love on the Internet

Profile photos of studio quality?

Lots of “lighting” and catalogue poses?

Random logos in pictures?

Variation in eye colour, nose size, entire face and body?

Luxurious indoor settings and exotic outdoor locations?

Wow…

You have obviously caught the attention of a professional model and should steam ahead full speed if you want to catch a ride on the crest of their wave.

Is it okay to medicate your husband without his knowledge?

Oh I AM planning on it.
If I ever WAS to re-marry Leroy Scandal then there would have to be some sort of “dress down Fridays” thing going on, but I was thinking more along the lines of Dr. Slutty’s Self Medicated weekends, whereby I mix up a couple of  drinks in my “home lab” and he instantly becomes more amenable. There’s no point being a Doctor if I can’t abuse the medicine cabinet, and of course the patients, once in a while.